Smile

i have to say goodbye.. i love you too much to see you change for the worse...

i love you unconditional... but now i know i cant be loved the way i loved you...

constantly, i feel like i have to prove myself for you...

but you must know, i'll still be around... just watching... just waiting... hoping that you would smile back again.... and see me...

TODAY by Jack McPhee

Today

Today was a day
The world got smaller, darker
I grew more afraid
Not of what I am, but of what I could be

I loosen my collar to take a breath
My eyes fade
And I see... Him
The image of perfection
His frame strong, his lips smooth

And I keep thinking, What am I so afraid of?
I wish I could escape the pain, but these thoughts invade my head
Bound to my memory, they're like shackles of guilt
Oh, God, please set me free
Free from the pain and this guilt
So that I may face

Tomorrow

Daemon... uplifting -

In the recent days, i have been going through the net scavenging ways to take back the chemistry that we once had. One that i have learned is that i have to be good again. Go back to the kind of guy that i was before i was hit by the depression. At least that way, i could go back to who i was with him the first time. If he still moves away, then atleast i was able to find myself. If i turn successful, he will know that he can still be a part of that. The about 2 days ago, i was ramaging through the blogs i follow, i found this interesting connection with a blogger. I related so much to the posts that he was making. Feeling down yet was still able to stand up after and actually have fun. Im learning from him so i can fix my situation with my guy right now. I just hope it works though, all the while being able to find a friend in other people.. :D

The blog im referring to is now placed in the blogs i follow at the right area of this blog >>>>

The Valentino

We celebrated valentines day while watching Phantom on the lake and going out with some friends :D


Phantom on the Lake was pretty good. Its the first time we ever saw a stage play performed in the middle of a lake. Dazzling in some cases and well acted. Fireworks were placed in the stage itself which gave flare to the story's highlights like the grand ball and the ending. Overall, very nice.

After so, we headed to eat at a local good resto. It was a head on dinner, we were stuffed like chickens. Very good food :D Then Mocha and the gang contacted us to join them in their little group date. One of them actually flew from Cebu to Manila and drove to Baguio just to meet her love. Little by little, i understand the importance of Valentines. To a certain extent, i have much to learn, what can i say... its my very first valentines with someone special :D

HOPE YOU GUYS HAD A GREAT VALENTINES. WE DID. FROM NIGHT TILL MORNING :D

FRAT HOUSE

Interesting...

We got drunk with a couple of my straight friends (almost all my friends are straight) with the use of 4 GSM long neck and the opening of the sacred lambanog for the finale... but on the third bottle, me and my honey were knocked out. So we went to the other room for some lubby-dubby.

The following morning, i was left with no memories of where and how i slept, only the constant nag, trying to wake me up to drink the finale... around 10am when i was able to coherently talk with my buds. And this is one of the few amazing pictures that was left aside from those in my memories...

Who wants to see the rest of the shots? :))

IN THE ROOM

We planned an event that included my parents, him, then me meeting to talk. But then, we only met mom. Mom was kind and very understanding. She knows my perception indirectly and she knows how kind i can be. lets just cut it short and say that Mom was kind to us amidst all the interogation.

After that, we proceeded to my room for some alone time. He is sooo very special. very very special. He had nothing to do so I took out my camera, which was newly charged, so I took pictures of him. Some Naughty and some decent. I first asked him permission before i had the strength to upload these pictures. I am extremely proud of him. And i Love him. his sincerity is much to be treasure. His love unmeasurable. And him being with me, never to be lost.

LOVE U

I just wanted to share to you readers what my Boyfriend did... im the one who created the LOVE U... while he created the rest of it while i went away. This man is sweet, and the most sincere person i have ever met in my life. small portion that i did was created with a full heart. Hon, my dear Aldrin...I LOVE YOU...

Meeting Mr. Right and Perfect

Life has been going my way. Found a great friend, an honorable second family, and great grades for the term :) but then on December 13, 2008. I found that life can be more pleasant than it actually is (if it was even possible). I aint a promiscuous kind of guy, infact, ive never lied, cheated, nor stole from my partners EVER$$ and that is something i take pride of. And so i preserve my integrity and hope that one day, i will be happy. When i did, it does feel like all the work and tough physical control was worth it all. The nights that i cried in my room with the absence of a crying shoulder; The cheating bastards I've met in the past; And the days that i felt like just consentrating on the work infront of me: Have all led to the moment that i met a life and with that, i thank all of the past. Remember the lyrics that Jay Brannan once said, "do you want a lover, or do you want a life..." well i guess having a life before love was perfect :) Sure, he is handsome, sure he might sing better than most people i know, sure hes got great built, but what set him appart by far is his sincerity, honesty, his demeanor, his shyness, his utter beauty. With him, I FEEL SECURE. I met Mr. Right and Perfect.